Be Still

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When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are king over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Still BY HILLSONG

The songs resonates in me. It hits in an emotional level, it moved me and it evoked a feeling familiarity. Perhaps I actually needed to hear that song – what message it brings and how cuts deep into my soul.

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

I was trying to convince myself, I sang the song over and over again in my head. I need to be still. They say it’s just all in the mind but all the more I think about it the more I feel overwhelmed and trapped and caught in the same performance trap.

How amazing how God spoke to me that day. Even through the songs that I listened, he whispers gently that I don’t need to try to do everything to prove something, He just want to have an intimate relationship with Him.

The story of Mary and Martha resounds to me once again. In Luke 10:38, the Bible tells us of the Living Room “intimacy” Mary enjoyed with Jesus versus the busyness of Martha in the Kitchen. Busyness, by itself, breeds distraction. The story shows us a woman with the gift of hospitality. Marth opened her home to Jesus, but doesn’t automatically mean she opened her heart. In her eagerness to serve Jesus, she almost missed the opportunity to know Jesus.

Luke tells us that “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” In her mind, nothing’s less than the very best would do. She had to go ALL OUT for Jesus. Seems to me, I have been role-playing Martha all along. I get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though I must prove my love for God by doing great things for Him. So I rush past the intimacy of the Living Room to get busy for Him in the Kitchen — implementing great ministries at work or even at church, all in effort to spread the Good News. I do all the works in His name. I call Him “LORD, LORD.” But in the end, will He know me? Will I know Him?

Christian life is such a paradox. While the world applauds achievements, success, promotions and the likes, GOD desires companionship. I’ve heard and read this numerous times, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10).

As I get into a deeper study of Martha and Mary’s relatable story, I came across a reading material by the famous E.M. Bounds and I love what he said, “To be much alone with God is the secret of knowing Him and of influence with Him.” Certainly, the LORD isn’t looking as much for workers as He is looking for sons and daughters — people to pour His life into.

Indeed, God’s acquaintances is not made hurriedly. He does not bestow His gifts on the casual or hasty comer or goer. He was never in a hurry. Jesus invites us to share intimacy with Him. He invites us to know Him, to see Him so clearly that when we look upon Him, we see the face of GOD as well. Just as He welcomed Mary to sit as His feet in the living room, just as He invited Martha to leave the kitchen for a while and share in the better part, Jesus bids us to come.

Been called to come to sit as His feet ~~~~~Forever Grateful,

Charmaine

Psalm 103:6-12 : SLOW ANGER, IMMEASURABLE LOVE

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel. The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in lobe. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is the west, so far has removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:6-12

God is different from ours. We are very quick to anger, we make people pay who have wronged us, and then, nonetheless, we nurse our grievances. I remember a day before my birthday last week, I knew a terribly heartbreaking situation that happened within our family. It broke me and I felt so much betrayed. I was so hurt knowing it was a family who have wronged me a day before my birthday. I gave in to my anger and bursted up and roared like a mighty lion… no like a mad dragon! At first it felt so liberating to have expressed my frustrations but at the same time, it was horrible. I am lost for words of what I have felt and I even curse myself to death. All I ever wanted is to stop the pain and just get lost or turn into dust. How could someone who have suffered for the sake of love for the family be betrayed by her own family. My birthday wish was to die —that’s how hard it was. On the day of my birthday, the bus I rode going back home got into an accident. I thought that was the end but it wasn’t. I came home and cried all day for I wished I never lived at all. I should have just died. I just can’t live another day with the ones I can no longer trust, there’s no point of living. It was so hard for me to forgive neither will I forget. Cousins and mom tried to cheer me up but no, I was so full of anger and bitterness. I remember my mom telling while asking me to eat my meal that she was so thankful of me for sharing the love of Jesus to them– and how it is to FORGIVE. I pretended not to listen but her voice echoed, “Seventy Times Seven” in Matthew 18:22. I still resisted.

I guess I am so good at ignoring and hating people I hate. Once someone breaks the limit or boundaries, I want and I can erase them in my life forever. I hold grudges too seriously and if life is about social media buttons and features, Blocking is my favorite. It’s like they never existed.But God is slow to anger, provides for our forgiveness, and then remembers our sins no more; and he wants us to do the same thing. Verses is astonishing because it quotes Exodus 34:6, which goes on to say in 34:7 that God “does not leave guilty unpunished.” How can Moses in Exodus be right to say that God will not let sin go unpunished and David here also be right in saying he will not punish us as we deserve? Then I remember the cross, which revealed what it cost God to punish sin without punishing us. Then on verses 11-12, infinite distance convey his infinite love for us.At this time, I am working on my emotions and trying not to act when in tight situation where it pushes me to sin. I am consciously working on letting go of people of have wronged me, neglected me in some ways, and those who have took advantage of me in the past. It may be a family member, a childhood friend who used to be a friend, or just random people who weren’t so nice to me. It’s hard. I know it will take time but I will allow the Lord to soften my heart so I can forgive and love again unconditionally despite of.. and to be guilt-free and remain serving the Lord. I am reminded that I am here for a purpose and I can’t allow shame, sin, and hatred hinder me to do so. It’s only by His grace that I would be able to do it.Prayer:Lord, my anger is indeed unlike yours. May your Spirit purify me so my anger is not triggered by my hurt ego as much as by real injustice and evil, and so that it does not remain in me to harden and poison my joy but readily gives way to compassion. Amen.

Forgiven and Forever Grateful,

Charmaine2nd day of Psalms reading devotion inspired by Tim Keller.

Goodbye LDR!

No one’s ever said that long distance relationships are easy. It entails hardwork, constant communication and trust. With the right commitment and communication, long distance relationship will survive. Simple adjustments to your attitude and lifestyle can help you keep your loved one in your life.

I realized that I have been away to most of my loved ones. First, I am living independently in the city while my parents are at the rural area. Second, my older brother is starting his own family multiple islands away from us.  Third, my closest friends in college are mostly working abroad or at the other side of the country. Some dear friends that I share some intimate moments are also in the other cities. We were apart for some various reasons. It takes a lot more effort building relationship with someone who isn’t physically there or you’re not constantly seeing. It’s exciting but sometimes tiring. With the number of loves ones that aren’t physically close to me, I can still never say that I became an expert in dealing with my relationships across the globe. Warm hugs, eye contact and a simple tap on your back still can’t be replaced by Skyping, texting, video chatting and other forms of social media communications. Although, I admit it helps in some ways.

In this age of Skyping and instagramming, it seems that maintaining a long distance relationship would be easier than ever before. Gone are the days of paying such high cost long distance telephone bills that they need to be rationed like precious jewels. No longer must someone in a long-distance relationship pin all their hopes on their 3pm mail delivery, awaiting  a letter whose news is at best four days old. Why, we’re no longer even the days of having to wait for our loved one to settle to their computer to check email: instant messages are all but demanded now. But ask anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship: Technology can’t make up everything. The lack of regular physical proximity still seems to make many long-distance relationships as emotionally tough as ever.

On the other hand, I will not be giving you tips on how to make a long lasting long distance relationship. As I have mentioned, I am not an expert on this matter nor will I become one. It’s now the 12^th day of the new year -2019. I have asked myself, how was my relationship with the Lord? Was it intimate? Am I getting one step closer to Him each year? I am not very proud to say that my relationship with the Lord is also one of those Long-Distance relationships that I have with my family and friends. It’s still there but sometimes barely surviving. It has its dull moments when it should have the ultimate relationship that I have to keep alive and burning. As I looked back to the past few months, I am pretty much guilty in just making myself busy at work or working on some relationships other than my relationship with the Lord. Unlike my other relationships, physical contact is required. But then, I cannot see God-how will I ever grow that relationship with Him? It boils down to my prayer time. How much time did I spend in Social Medias versus the time I spent alone with God and studying His Word? How much time did I spend sharing videos and posts versus sharing the Good News to my community and people surrounding me? Did I really ever prioritize serving the Lord? In most cases, I didn’t.  I was too far from Him. I was just satisfied with that conditional distance and boundary that I have set. I did my own ways when in fact I should only depend on Him. I became His aloof distant prodigal daughter. I became His overseas friend. When my chat status will be compared to my relationship with the Lord, I bet He would say that I always “offline” or “away.” Too bad.

In 2 Corinthians 4:18, the Bible says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

In John 20:29, it says, “Blessed are those who believe without seeing.” We may not see Him or touch him but our faith will keep us connected to Him. Faith is like WIFI. It’s invisible, but it has the power to connect us to what we need and we all know that He is all we need. He is the Source of our Strength, Love, Grace, Forgiveness and EVERYTHING that we need. I can make all things possible, if we only believe and obey.

So this year, I am committing in fixing my eyes only on Jesus and to cultivate a deeper relationship with Jesus. This means knowing Him better and to love and obey Him more.

1. I will continue to read the Bible regularly as it has been said on 2 Peters 3:18, “But grow in grace and in knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”
2. I will pray like a child. Prayer is another word for talking with God. He wants us to hear our thoughts, needs and desires. We can talk to Him about everything; He hears and answers us. Plus, prayer is another way we can thank God for all he is doing in our lives. Psalm 55:17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: And he shall hear my voice.
3. I will keep the company with Christian friends. Being together with other Christians, encouraging and building up one another is vital in growing relationship with God. Psalm 1:1: Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.
4. I will continue to Share my Faith. He’s able to use us to show Christ to those who don’t yet know Him. A life with Him is an incredible gift. And the more we share the treasure with others, the deeper our own joy in God will become.

I pray that the God who gives hope

Will fill you with so much joy and peace as you trust in Him.

Then  you will have more and more hope, and

It will flow out of you by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Forever Grateful,

Charmaine