Be Still

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When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are king over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Still BY HILLSONG

The songs resonates in me. It hits in an emotional level, it moved me and it evoked a feeling familiarity. Perhaps I actually needed to hear that song – what message it brings and how cuts deep into my soul.

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

“I will be still.”

I was trying to convince myself, I sang the song over and over again in my head. I need to be still. They say it’s just all in the mind but all the more I think about it the more I feel overwhelmed and trapped and caught in the same performance trap.

How amazing how God spoke to me that day. Even through the songs that I listened, he whispers gently that I don’t need to try to do everything to prove something, He just want to have an intimate relationship with Him.

The story of Mary and Martha resounds to me once again. In Luke 10:38, the Bible tells us of the Living Room “intimacy” Mary enjoyed with Jesus versus the busyness of Martha in the Kitchen. Busyness, by itself, breeds distraction. The story shows us a woman with the gift of hospitality. Marth opened her home to Jesus, but doesn’t automatically mean she opened her heart. In her eagerness to serve Jesus, she almost missed the opportunity to know Jesus.

Luke tells us that “Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.” In her mind, nothing’s less than the very best would do. She had to go ALL OUT for Jesus. Seems to me, I have been role-playing Martha all along. I get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though I must prove my love for God by doing great things for Him. So I rush past the intimacy of the Living Room to get busy for Him in the Kitchen — implementing great ministries at work or even at church, all in effort to spread the Good News. I do all the works in His name. I call Him “LORD, LORD.” But in the end, will He know me? Will I know Him?

Christian life is such a paradox. While the world applauds achievements, success, promotions and the likes, GOD desires companionship. I’ve heard and read this numerous times, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10).

As I get into a deeper study of Martha and Mary’s relatable story, I came across a reading material by the famous E.M. Bounds and I love what he said, “To be much alone with God is the secret of knowing Him and of influence with Him.” Certainly, the LORD isn’t looking as much for workers as He is looking for sons and daughters — people to pour His life into.

Indeed, God’s acquaintances is not made hurriedly. He does not bestow His gifts on the casual or hasty comer or goer. He was never in a hurry. Jesus invites us to share intimacy with Him. He invites us to know Him, to see Him so clearly that when we look upon Him, we see the face of GOD as well. Just as He welcomed Mary to sit as His feet in the living room, just as He invited Martha to leave the kitchen for a while and share in the better part, Jesus bids us to come.

Been called to come to sit as His feet ~~~~~Forever Grateful,

Charmaine

The Bella Swan in Me

I came across a Netflix Instagram feed featuring Bella of the famous “Twilight” movie saga. I can’t believe it’s been 13 years since it was theatrically released. It’s definitely one of my favorite movie sequel! In that IG post, it features all the bloopers and literally all kinds of stumbling stunts of Bella. In the movie, she was just an ordinary girl, careless and weak. But what I love about her is that she is also reclusive, quiet, a bit of insecure but kind-hearted, compassionate and caring towards others.

In that moment, I thought to myself I am no different from Bella. I, myself have faced various tear-jerking and down-to-my-knees events. Like Bella, there are times that I hid in the shadow of my loneliness and depression. I hid in the dark woods of my despair waiting and hoping someone will call and rescue me. Like her, I persevere in life and never retreated in any kinds of obstacles that come my way. Like her, I stumble a lot and fall. Like her, I got hurt but still loved unconditionally and eternally.

The vampires’ so called eternity on the other hand is nothing compared to the eternity promised in the Bible. It has been written in Romans 10, if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” As Christians, we are promised of an eternal life through the blood of Jesus — we don’t have to do anything nor hunt for human blood to live, we just need to trust in Him. TRUST. Such a big and strong word. How is it really to trust someone then? Like Bella, I am so insecure and faithless. I rarely trust people. It’s hard for me to trust people. However, God’s Word has constantly reminded me that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). We receive that grace through faith alone. God even gives us the faith that trusts him. We are not saved by obeying a list of do’s and don’ts, but by grace through faith in Christ. Even if I possess Bella’s super powers, I know I wouldn’t survive without my saviour, Jesus.

Bella may have the ability to shield her mind but it did not save her from getting hurt. Like Bella, there were numerous times that I escaped from my fears and doubts. I do ways to distract me and get away from the things that’s pulling me down. There were many times that I ran away from my problems and even ran away from the people that I love and people who care about me. There were many times that I lock myself up and push away others. However, I am repeatedly reminded that My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (2 Samuel 22:3-4.). Day and night, God reminds me that I am not alone. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Edward may have hurt and left Bella alone in the woods but I am consistently reminded that God will never abandon me. I may have faced battles big and small. I may have crashed into the wilderness of my depression and anxiety but never will the Lord will dessert me. The road may be tough and the attacks of the enemies may seem endless, but there’s no power greater than of the Lord’s. The load that I carry daily may seem so heavy and the journey to what I am called to do seems wounding and pounding, but the Lord will give me strength to carry on. Over and over and over again, the Lord has never forsaken me.

I will always remember the pain but I will also always remember how He took it away.

I will always remember the betrayals but I will also always remember how he saved me and filled me with His love.

I will always remember every blood that I shed when I was hurting but I will also always remember the BLOOD that HE shed for me.

I will always remember the times that I had nothing and I had no one on my side but I will always remember how he provided for me and how brought me back into his loving arms.

I will always remember the struggle but I will always remember to endure.

I am not perfect. I had too many flaws. Just like Bella, I had too many bloopers, foozles, clumsy attempts especially in my Christian Walk but I will always remember to call upon His name when I am down. I will always remember whom to reach out to. I will always remember He is a God of forgiveness, a God who accepts, a God who saves. He is the greatest shepherd to the lost lambs. I am never alone. – Joshua 1:9

Forever Grateful,

not Bella, but Charmaine

Trying to Do It All

Have you ever tried to do it all?

I have.

I do, and probably always will.

It’s not only in my nature; it’s also in my job description — and perhaps in yours too. Being a woman requires more stamina, more creativity, and more wisdom than I ever dreamed as a young girl. And that’s not just true for today’s busy women. It has always been the case, as we see in the story of Mary and Martha.

Ofthe we feel as if we’re not doing enough. Then we feel guilty because we’re supposed to be having quiet times with God too — but when we tried to slow down, our hearts and minds are still busy. The story of Mary and Martha offers us guidance as well as grace in this tension. It’s a story of sisters but actually it’s a story of each of us.

Perhaps no passage of Scripture better describes the conflict we feel as women than the one we find in Luke 10:38-42. We’ve all felt the struggle. We want to worship like Mary but the Martha inside keeps bossing us around.

LukE 10:38-42

Now as they went on geir way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister named Mary, who sat at the LORD’s feet and listened to his teachinv. But Martha was distracted with muchserving. And she went up to him and said, “LORD, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the LORD answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

In the midst of my own busyness, deep inside of me is a hunger, a calling, to know and love God. To truly know Jesus Christ and the fellowship of yhe Spirit. I don’t have to go after a more head knowledge—- it’s heart-to-heart intimacy I long for.

Yet part of me hangs back. Exhausted, I wonder how to find the strength or time. Nurturing my spiritual life seems like one more duty –one more thing to add to a life that is spilling over the responsibilities.

It’s almost as if I’m standing on the bottom rung of a ladder that stretches up to heaven. Eager but daunted. I name the rungs with spiritual things I know I should do: study the Bible, pray, fellowship. . . .

“He’s up there somewhere,” I say,swaying slightly as I peer upward, uncertain how to begin or if I even want to attempt. The long, dizzy climb. But to do nothing means I will miss what my heart already knows: There is more to this Christian walk than I’ve experienced.

“Mary has chosen what is better?” I say to GOD in the midst of my own whirl of activity, “You mean I have to do more?”

No, no, comes the answer to my tired heart. Jesus’ words in Luke 10 are incredibly freeing to those of us on the performance treadmill of life.

It isn’t “MORE” He requires of us. In fact, it may be less. It’s to have MARY HEART in a MARTHA World.

I end this blog with my favorite passage from Psalms 63:1-11

O GOD, you are my GOD, earnestly I seek you; my sould thirsts for you; my flesh faints you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise. So I will bless you as long as live. In your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night. For you have been my help and the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. But those who seek to destroy my life shall go into the depths of the earth, they shall be given over to the power of the sword, they shall be a portion for jackals. But the King shall rejoice in GOD; all who swear by him shall exult, for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

As Long As I live, I will sing praises to you.

Forever Grateful,

Charmaine✨💕

simple things

In a world that we live in today, we’re so busy that we move in such a fast pace, and we end up filling up our days with so many things — everything from work and even to social media. None of these are bad but sometimes we tend to focus on what we believe especially the big things and forget about what is simple.

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Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good and what does the LORD require you, but to do justice, and to love kindness, to walk humbly with the LORD.

The passage reveals to us that GOD wants us to just the simple things:

✨ To treat people justly and fair.

✨ To walk in love, mercy, and kindness.

✨ and to walk humbly with GOD

As someone working in a call center and supervising a team, I find it really challenging to apply all of these. The piled up responsibilities, the stress and not to mention the unending tasks seem to be so overwhelming. If you have been following this blog, you pretty much know how I truly value the purpose that God has assigned me to and that’s one of the biggest reason why I stayed despite the hardships. However, with a the struggles faced I find myself trapped and burned out. Aside from that, I honestly feel unsupported especially from the church where I belong to. It’s sad to admit but it happened. With all of these in mind, I became ungrateful and just barely focusing on the external rather than the basic deeper things Lord has commanded — most specifically to LOVE no matter what. I took the ministry so seriously that I lost the joy to serve. I focused on finishing each goal at hand that it became an ordinary thing and it no longer spark joy deep inside. I wish I could just end all of these and start anew but I am already in the middle of the race, no turning back.

In order for me to achieve the simple things, I needed to unlearn the great things. In order for me to do what’s right, I needed the time to realign myself from the source of righteousness. In order for me to love others and show them compassion, mercy and kindness, I needed to fill up myself with God’s love. I needed to free myself from guilt and learn to forgive AGAIN. It’s tough. It’s easier said than done. In order to walk humbly with GOD, I needed to empty myself, understand that all that I have comes from him and apart from him I am nothing. Every time I think about that, it humbles me.

I am not sure how far this post will reach but I am writing this for people like me who are earnestly trusting and obeying the LORD with His purposes and plans — not to quit! People may not read this, there may be lack of appreciation of what you are doing but do not stop for He will not desert you and He for sure will be there at the end.

And here are the things I learned from the passage.

1. DO WHAT’S RIGHT. Not what is easy. Not what is popular. I learned that it’s okay to pause, take a breath, and ask the Holy spirit of what your next move is. Doing what’s right may mean you actually have an honest empathetic conversation with someone you disagree with —but not to change their mind but to hear their perspective. This may mean postponing the conversation to a later date or time, or adjourning to a less public place. This means sticking up to your principles but never at the expense of hurting people.
2. LOVE MERCY. This looks like extending grace to someone else, even if you don’t think they deserve it. In the call center, we normally check the quality of the work of each agent and review errors and most of the time it frustrates me especially if reminders and policies are in-place but still they fail to follow. But one thing that I also learned from our numerous coachings is to give them the benefit of the doubt, assuming that they didn’t mean to commit errors. In handling personal conflicts, it also assuming that they did not mean to be hurtful with their comments or opinions. I encounter this a lot in my team. If not from the agents, it’s from my co-managers and supervisors. When you give them the benefit of the doubt, you are actually showing them real empathy and compassion and overlooking any offenses for the sake of restoration in your relationship or stronger team at work. It’s also helpful to think before you act — pause and think what could have Jesus done if he is in your shoe. After all, we are all sinners. We also failed and yet GOD continues to forgive and show us mercy.
3. WALK HUMBLY. Humility may not always fix our problems but it makes sure you’re not the problem. If you are, man you are in trouble. Haha. When we assume we don’t have all the answers, we have a much better chance of learning something new and keeping our relationships. Jesus often used questions during His ministry, because being curious invites conversation, whereas bringing all of the answers tends to shut it down. We all have a lot of opinion. But it’s a lot more effective to bring people our love rather than what we know. As the quote say, “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” It’s best to share our knowledge with love.

My prayer:

God, my Father , when divisive conversations come up, please give me your attitude. Help me love like you in every situation. Help me seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with You. Show me how to express my love more than my counterstatements and opinions, and give me yhe right words in every conversation in my day-to-day. Also, renew my spirit so I may serve you faithfully and joyfully forever. In Jesus name, amen.

Simply Forever Grateful,

Charmaine