I came across a Netflix Instagram feed featuring Bella of the famous “Twilight” movie saga. I can’t believe it’s been 13 years since it was theatrically released. It’s definitely one of my favorite movie sequel! In that IG post, it features all the bloopers and literally all kinds of stumbling stunts of Bella. In the movie, she was just an ordinary girl, careless and weak. But what I love about her is that she is also reclusive, quiet, a bit of insecure but kind-hearted, compassionate and caring towards others.
In that moment, I thought to myself I am no different from Bella. I, myself have faced various tear-jerking and down-to-my-knees events. Like Bella, there are times that I hid in the shadow of my loneliness and depression. I hid in the dark woods of my despair waiting and hoping someone will call and rescue me. Like her, I persevere in life and never retreated in any kinds of obstacles that come my way. Like her, I stumble a lot and fall. Like her, I got hurt but still loved unconditionally and eternally.
The vampires’ so called eternity on the other hand is nothing compared to the eternity promised in the Bible. It has been written in Romans 10, if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” As Christians, we are promised of an eternal life through the blood of Jesus — we don’t have to do anything nor hunt for human blood to live, we just need to trust in Him. TRUST. Such a big and strong word. How is it really to trust someone then? Like Bella, I am so insecure and faithless. I rarely trust people. It’s hard for me to trust people. However, God’s Word has constantly reminded me that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). We receive that grace through faith alone. God even gives us the faith that trusts him. We are not saved by obeying a list of do’s and don’ts, but by grace through faith in Christ. Even if I possess Bella’s super powers, I know I wouldn’t survive without my saviour, Jesus.
Bella may have the ability to shield her mind but it did not save her from getting hurt. Like Bella, there were numerous times that I escaped from my fears and doubts. I do ways to distract me and get away from the things that’s pulling me down. There were many times that I ran away from my problems and even ran away from the people that I love and people who care about me. There were many times that I lock myself up and push away others. However, I am repeatedly reminded that My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior; you save me from violence. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (2 Samuel 22:3-4.). Day and night, God reminds me that I am not alone. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Edward may have hurt and left Bella alone in the woods but I am consistently reminded that God will never abandon me. I may have faced battles big and small. I may have crashed into the wilderness of my depression and anxiety but never will the Lord will dessert me. The road may be tough and the attacks of the enemies may seem endless, but there’s no power greater than of the Lord’s. The load that I carry daily may seem so heavy and the journey to what I am called to do seems wounding and pounding, but the Lord will give me strength to carry on. Over and over and over again, the Lord has never forsaken me.
I will always remember the pain but I will also always remember how He took it away.
I will always remember the betrayals but I will also always remember how he saved me and filled me with His love.
I will always remember every blood that I shed when I was hurting but I will also always remember the BLOOD that HE shed for me.
I will always remember the times that I had nothing and I had no one on my side but I will always remember how he provided for me and how brought me back into his loving arms.
I will always remember the struggle but I will always remember to endure.
I am not perfect. I had too many flaws. Just like Bella, I had too many bloopers, foozles, clumsy attempts especially in my Christian Walk but I will always remember to call upon His name when I am down. I will always remember whom to reach out to. I will always remember He is a God of forgiveness, a God who accepts, a God who saves. He is the greatest shepherd to the lost lambs. I am never alone. – Joshua 1:9
Forever Grateful,
not Bella, but Charmaine
Forever grateful 